


sometimes by losing you win

by fromthefarshore



Category: Free!
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2057529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthefarshore/pseuds/fromthefarshore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin thinks he's not supposed to be interested in anything related to Haru, but it seems that the world has other plans for him, and soon Rin finds himself by Haru's side. And he's smiling, his arm moving on Haru's shoulders on its own as it looks like nothing has ever changed. But can anything ever be so simple?</p>
            </blockquote>





	sometimes by losing you win

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure anymore if they've turned out ooc or not, but hopefully that's not going to be a big problem.  
> Thank you for taking your time to check this work out

"No, not like this. You have to feel the water," Haru sighs, shaking his head slightly. He moves his hands on Rin's shoulders and softly brushes the skin, "Relax, it seems as if you were afraid of water. You have to..." he furrows his eyebrows, trying to come up with a suitable word, then finishes hastily, "trust it." Rin takes a deep breath, rolling his eyes slightly, because how can Haru talk like this sounding so serious when they're just kids. His lips quirk into a grin when Haru dives into the water, and he does the same, promising himself that one day he's going to _feel_ the water and win against the dark haired boy.

-

 _You have to trust it_ , after all the years Rin still hears that small voice in his head, and he feels how he sinks in the water, how he _trusts_ it and lets it embrace him. And he can see that hardly recognizable smile on Haru's face when his fingers move on Rin's chest and he reassures Rin that yes, it's exactly how he needs to do it.

"Rin," Haru averts his eyes, looking a bit embarrassed, and his mouth is left half open as he is about to say something more, but some other voice starts repeating Rin's name and he feels annoyed how he can't hear what Haru is saying, and now Haru is looking at him sheepishly, probably waiting for an answer. Rin tries to ask to repeat it again, but words can't leave his throat and he reaches for Haru's hand instead. The dark haired boy blinks, looking confused, but then that small smile appears on his face again as he holds his hand higher, his fingertips almost touching Rin's.

"Wake up, you idiot," Gou sighs heavily, pulling Rin by his arm in an attempt to make him get up. Rin groans, finally sitting up in his bed, rubbing his face. "That's not going to cover that ridiculous blush of yours," she comments and Rin can even hear how she's definitely grinning.

"Shut up. It's not a-" he abruptly stops, thinking about what he has dreamt about moments ago, and another groan escapes his mouth as he falls back on the pillow, childishly hiding under the blanket, however embarrassing it is to admit that.

"You should just go to the practice with me," Gou lets out a puff, crossing her arms over the chest as if she knows everything, and nudges Rin's ribs with her foot. "Haruka would like that, you know."

"Oh, cut it out, I'm not interested," he mumbles under his nose, his mind telling him that after losing against Haru he's _not_ supposed to be interested in anything related to the dark haired boy. He rolls on the side, his arm reaching for the phone. Gou smiles mischievously when Rin's legs stick from under the blanket and he nearly crawls out of the bed, looking at the screen which indicates that there's a new message from Haru.

 _Sounds good_ , it says and Rin scowls because first, why there's a message from Haru, and second, just what exactly sounds good when he doesn't remember writing anything in the first place. It must be a mistake, Rin thinks to himself as he mentally goes over the list of Haru's friends whose names could pop up in the address book together with Rin's. There's that new fellow in their team, Ryu-something Rei as far as Rin remembers, and his thumb touches the little icon to open the chat and reply, but his fingers freeze when he sees a message from _himself_ to Haru, sent barely a few minutes ago. He looks up at his sister and she's grinning like crazy.

"You're welcome," she sticks out her tongue before running out of the room, and for a moment Rin doesn't even know how to react.

"You're dead," Rin grumbles silently, but he doesn't chase her, not now. He takes a deep breath, tossing his phone on the bed and storming through the door to the bathroom because he doesn't want to make fun of himself. Or at least that's what his mind is telling him, and if there's a little smirk on his face, Rin tries to ignore it.

He has to hurry up as the message Gou has sent says _Up for a run in 20min?_

-

"It's been a while," Haru is leaning against the wall, his hair damp, and Rin finds himself wondering if Haru still has that strange habit of just sitting in the bathtub full of water.

"Right," Rin licks his lips, thinking what to say next. It's awkward, standing like this, and he doesn't know where to put his hands, and suddenly his posture feels weird, he thinks if his leg is really supposed to be bent slightly, does he even stand straight enough, his shoulders seem stiff even though he has made sure to relax them a few moments ago. He feels out of the place here, in front of Haru, who seems to be perfectly fine, his whole body moving almost as delicately as in the water. "Let's go," he clears his throat when Haru casts him a glare before nodding and proceeding into an easy jog, tilting his head just enough to check if Rin is following.

"It wasn't you, was it?" Haruka asks after a while and Rin furrows his eyebrows questionably. "The message. It was Gou, right?" he adds, never so much as peering at Rin, his pace steady, not too fast and not to slow, just how it's supposed to be.

"You knew?" Rin's voice has a guilty note in it and he curses inside his head, because he shouldn't allow himself to act like this. He hasn't done anything bad, so why does he feel like apologizing?

"Yes, you would never add that _min_ part."

Rin doesn't respond to that, thinking about the expression Haru made while saying this as he conveniently turned his head away. But in Rin's head the dark haired boy is smiling, matching the smirk on Rin's face when he realises that Haru remembers such small details about him. And it's a bit strange, how his body feels normal again, as if being where it's meant to be, all the thoughts from before suddenly forgotten as he looks at Haru's back and it seems as if nothing has ever happened, as if they've been like this for years.

"So, then. Why did you agree?" he says after a while and Haru stops promptly, casting him a glare, then starts running again, this time in one line with Rin.

"I was still going to do it. And I don't mind the company," Haru shrugs his shoulders slightly, "Besides, I wanted to see how you'd act," his voice sounds silent and weak, lips in a thin tight line, and Rin would snap at him if not for the blush that is creeping on his cheeks. It's only from the heat, he tells to himself while simply nodding his head as if to show that he has understood.

"Yeah, I figured it'd be good to practise a bit more before going back to school. While it's holidays and all," the words escape his mouth and Rin doesn't even know why he's saying this and where is it coming from, but from Haru's reaction it seems to be okay, so Rin dares to speak a bit more, "Reminds of the old times, doesn't it? When we used to go for a run and then end up in the ocean because I couldn't stop you from going into the water," he laughs carelessly, without thinking, but there's no indication of joy on Haru's face.

"You shouldn't talk so much while running," he comments silently and Rin shuts up, biting his cheek from inside and cursing himself for being careless. Of course everything can't get back to normal just like this, Rin understands that, but deep inside it's still painful and he wants to grab Haru's shoulders and shake him, yelling that it wasn't supposed to turn out like this, they weren't supposed to stop hanging around because of some stupid race, but now he thinks it's all his fault, so he doesn't dare to say any of this aloud, staying silent all the way until the beach.

In the end Haru gets in the water for a short swim as Rin can't stop him from doing it. Rin isn't prepared for swimming, so he stays on the shore, and as much as Haru'd like Rin to join him he's also kind of glad to be alone. After all, this way Rin can't see that traitorous smile on his face.

-

Gou never gets punished for what she's done, and the next morning it's Rin himself who sends a message.

This time after a brief hesitation he puts on the swimsuit under the sweatpants.

-

"Your form used to be better," Haru says one morning when they are laying on the shore, breathing heavily, their eyes closed to the bright sun.

"I know that," Rin snorts, opening his left eye just a crack to steal a glare of Haru, still not believing that actually everything _does_ seem to be like in old times. "I guess I-" he bites his lip, taking a deep breath, "I guess I haven't been doing a proper training lately." Rin feels how Haru shifts next to him, their skin touching, and soon a shadow is casted on his face, and he's afraid to open his eyes when he's sure Haru is looking right at him.

"Why?" Haru deadpans and Rin lets out a groan, opening his eyes and sitting up, barely avoiding hitting their heads. He's not going to complain to Haru how he has accidentally managed to catch a cold during the warmest week of the month and couldn't carry out the regime without ending feeling as if he was about to pass out. He tilts his head back, looking at the sky and enjoying the presence of Haru besides him. Even though it all seems to be alright now, he knows that it's not a permanent thing, he has already reconciled himself to the fact that it's going to last only a little bit more, until the end of holidays, and then he'll have to go back to his school, and Haru will go back to his everyday life which doesn't include daily runs with Rin. They're not going to meet much afterwards, Rin knows that. Maybe a few messages during the first days, even an awkward call, but that'd be it. So he wants to get everything he can right _now_ , to have material to agonize over later when he blames himself for spending so much time with Haru, and later hates himself for thinking this way, but that's how it is and how it's always going to be, so he swallows hard, his voice sounding weaker than he'd want it to, "I couldn't do it at the moment," he thinks for a moment, considering what to say next, and his mouth opens on its own, "Maybe I just couldn't feel the water."

Haru stays silent for a while, then stands up, his arm outstretched.

"Let's go to the pool."

-

Rin finds himself on his elbows and tiptoes, his body in a straight line, as rigid as possible because Haru claims that he has to go over it again. He feels how his muscles start throbbing, so he bites his lower lip, peering at the side where Haru is doing the same. The only difference is that Haru doesn't seem to be bothered by it the slightest bit. He snarls silently at the thought that everything related to swimming comes so naturally to Haru, and he feels a bit jealous and a bit hurt because it doesn't matter how much he tries, he won't get better than Haru. He might win once or twice, but it'd be because of hard training while Haru just does it without much special preparation.

"How about some race?" Rin gets on his knees as he can't hold anymore, then takes a deep breath and stands up, walking to the pool.

"You won't win," Haru's eyes follow Rin's movements. His voice sounds disapproving and frightened a bit, but he still gets in the water after Rin.

Rin loses and Haru simply sighs when Rin hits the water surface with his fist.

"You don't trust it again," Haru mutters and falls back to float with his eyes closed. Rin hisses under his nose, but Haru is smiling slightly and Rin wonders how many of these smiles he has missed through the years.

-

They race again and their time is the same. Rin smiles widely while his arm finds its place on Haru's shoulders. Haru leans to the touch and he thinks that swimming has never felt so good before.

-

Gou is standing in the doorway, her arms crossed.

"You're a liar," she says angrily, but her eyes are smiling, and Rin only shrugs his shoulders. " _I'm not interested_ ," she mocks him, rolling her eyes, then comes closer and bumps his shoulder with a fist.

"Yeah, yeah," Rin tries his best not to laugh because she's quite right and he doesn't even know what to say. He likes practising and swimming with Haru the best and he's sure Gou knows it by this point, so there's no reason to disagree with her.

"You know," she bites her lip, suddenly turning her eyes down, "You could," she takes a deep breath, then lifts her head and looks Rin in the eyes, "You could just transfer to Iwatobi. You'd be happier here," she spills the words and averts her eyes again, her fingers playing with a zipper of her jumper.

"No," Rin shakes his head as he walks past her, any thoughts of laughing suddenly forgotten.

"But why?" Gou whines and she turns around, watching her brother with pleading eyes.

"I don't belong there anymore. My second home isn't where Haru is, if you were wondering," his voice sounds rather harsh, but that's for the best as this way Gou can't hear a note of disappointment in it.

"When are you leaving?" she asks hastily as if afraid that Rin is running away. He stops for a second and tilts his head in her direction, their eyes meeting, "Next weekend."

-

When the last week of holidays is coming to the end day by day, both of them are busy with forgotten homework that is threatening with sleepless nights, and Rin needs to prepare all the stuff for leaving, already starting with his luggage. They meet on Wednesday morning for a short run, ending up in the pool for just a few swims, according to Haru.

They race again and one time Rin is slightly faster than Haru, but afterwards Haru crushes him with three wins against his one.

"You're getting better," Haru smiles slightly and Rin bares his teeth in return.

"One day I'll be better than you," he says confident, but a friendly note is audible in his voice. Recently he has somehow managed to realise that winning against Haru isn't _all_ he wants. He wants to be able to compete with him and laugh together when one of them makes a silly mistake and loses, he wants to not know who will lose and then smile at whichever win.

"You're leaving this weekend?" Haru asks, but his eyes are looking somewhere behind Rin, distant and a bit cold, or maybe sad, Rin isn't sure himself.

"Yeah, on Sunday morning. We should do something fun one of these days, huh?" he smiles, casually bringing his arm on Haru's shoulders.

"Sure," Haru nods and looks Rin into the eyes as if to make sure it's all real.

When they're going home, Haru is walking closer to Rin, even more silent than usual, leaving all the talking to Rin.

"So, until later," Rin turns to Haru, but the dark haired boy only nods. "Don't be so negative, is anything wrong?" Rin bumps their shoulders and his arm moves on its own, finding a place around Haru's neck.

"'s fine," Haru sighs, turning his body just a bit to fit better against Rin's, and somehow he brings his hands on Rin's back, embracing him into a hug. "Bye," he mutters, then swiftly pulls away, heading the opposite direction, leaving Rin alone, confused, his eyes wide and face red.

That evening Haru sends a message that he won't be able to go for a run next morning and Rin doesn't dare to ask why.

-

The following days they're waiting for each other's messages that never come. Rin's homework lays untouched on his desk; the only thing he thinks about is Haru's behaviour. He doesn't notice how fast the days come and go, thinking about how they planned on having fun.

But the weekend comes and they don't meet up.

When Rin's already on his way, his phone buzzes and Haru's name appears on the screen, but Rin can't bring himself to pick up. The call stops and moments later Rin receives a message.

_I'm sorry. Have a safe trip._

Rin reads the message over and over again, not knowing how to react, what to say. He thinks of Haru, of his smiles and of that last 'Bye'. He takes a deep breath, going through everything in his head, telling himself that it's true and he doesn't need to hide it.

_Don't be. I'll miss you._

-

He doesn't know why, but he feels like in a different world while staying in the dorms instead of home. Like in a world where he can't meet Haru, as if the walls of the building are some kind of barrier that prevents Rin from going to see the dark haired boy. He wonders if Haru is thinking the same as the days come and go, but he doesn't reply to Rin's last message, doesn't call. As if Rin doesn't exist at all. And it's different from the times before. He doesn't remember not being able to fall asleep because of thoughts of Haru and he doesn't remember catching himself thinking about what's Haru doing, checking his phone whenever he has the opportunity to do so.

Something is really wrong, he realises, when Mikoshiba asks him what has happened and offers him a day off. And Rin doesn't even argue, he just nods his head and goes back to his room, falling on his bed and staying there for hours until his phone rings. He hesitates for a second as the ringtone indicates that it's Gou calling, but eventually answers anyway.

"Do you want me to come over?" she doesn't even bother with greeting, her voice sounding concerned.

"I'm _fine_ ," he sighs and the little voice inside his head laughs at him when Gou takes a deep breath, sounding much like a mother instead of a younger sister.

"You're not, if Mikoshiba called me to talk about _you_ ," she waits for a moment, then adds, "He said you've looked miserable ever since coming back after holidays. So I've been wondering if it's because of-"

"It's not because of Haru," Rin growls unsatisfied, and his mind catches up a bit too late to take that back. "I didn't-" he stops in the middle and takes a deep breath, reality hitting him right in the face. Denying it won't change anything now anyway, he closes his eyes listening to the uncomfortable silence that has fallen between them as Gou isn't saying anything, she's not even giggling or sighing, and that must mean something bad.

"You're deep in this," finally she whispers silently and takes a deep breath, "I haven't thought this was- Oh, this is _serious_." He can hear how Gou bites her lip and takes phone in the other hand.

"Can you pretend this has never happened?" he decides to try, to give himself some more time and sort everything out, but his sister ignores the question.

"You have to talk to Haruka," she says instead, "and figure it out." Rin wants to protest, but Gou hangs up, muttering something similar to 'Good luck' before that.

Rin buries his face in the pillow and snarls because at the moment it seems to be the best option. Which only proves the fact that he's screwed.

-

"You have to," Haru says in Rin's dream, wounding his arms around his neck and pressing their bodies together, "trust me," he brings his lips to Rin's in a chaste kiss, and then falls back, pulling Rin with himself into water.

The moment he's supposed to hit the surface, Rin wakes up. He lays in his bed for a few minutes, breathing heavily, then grabs his phone and dials the number, not even bothering with checking what time it is.

"Hello?" He hears the deadpan voice of Haru, but he doesn't sound too sleepy and he has picked up faster than Rin has expected. He takes a deep breath, encouraging himself that _maybe_ Haru is in a similar situation and can't sleep either.

"I need to talk to you," he mutters and Haru stays silent for a while as if thinking hard, then he sighs, sounding tired.

"It's midnight, call me when we both are fully awake. Good night."

"I like you," Rin blurts out because exactly, he's not fully awake yet, and his mind fails to understand what's going on and everything is so much easier at the moment.

"I- Good night, Rin," Haru repeats himself, completely ignoring Rin, his voice sounding a bit hitched, and ends the call. When Rin tries to call him again, an annoying voice informs him that the mobile phone is turned off. He doesn't know why, but it seems that the world itself has something against Rin having a phone call. He hisses silently, punching the mattress, suddenly feeling angry at himself for what he's done. And everything feels so _wrong_ once again.

And when later Rin falls back to light sleep, he dreams about Haru ignoring all of his calls.

-

Rin swims forty laps next day, trying to clear his mind, but it doesn't help. He stays after practice, simply floating in the water, getting back to images of Haru in his head no matter how many times he tries to not think about the dark haired boy. He's losing again, it seems, and it feels terrible.

He tries to concentrate on the water, paying attention to how it feels against his skin, how it's slightly bit harder to breathe when his chest is underwater, as if it's constrained. But it brings him a pleasant feeling, and despite the pressure on the body, his mind feels free. It all is some kind of relaxing, though, just being in the water, letting it hold him as if it's alive, embracing Rin gently. And Rin actually _feels_ it, he smiles to himself and abruptly starts laughing, standing on his feet and then leaning back again, letting the water hold him. And now, _now_ he thinks he finally understands what Haru's words have meant. It makes so much sense now; that he has to trust it, and he has to feel it. It's all the same, just like with Haru himself, how Rin can trust him and how can he feels his touches. And even though Rin wonders that he's probably twisted in his head, comparing water to Haru, it feels right and it brings him a sense of relief. He swims another lap, enjoying every stroke, and only then gets out of the pool, a small smile on his face.

He tells Mikoshiba that he's going home today and leaves afterwards, hurrying to catch the next bus to Iwatobi.

-

Makoto is standing near the pool, his hands on his hips as he watches Haru swim another lap, "Everyone has already left, we can talk if you want," he's smiling tenderly as ever, voice caring even though he talks louder for Haru to hear. At first the dark haired boy doesn't give any verbal answer, and instead swims a bit more, and only then stops just in front of Makoto.

"Talk about what?" he takes off his goggles and swimming cap before taking Makoto's hand to get out from the pool. Makoto glares at him knowingly, and the boy sighs, hesitating for a moment, but then finally mutters, "Rin called me."

"And?" Makoto asks carefully, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. Haru averts his eyes, his pinkish cheeks betraying him. Makoto doesn't say anything more, he simply tosses a towel to Haru's direction, letting him hide his face under it. During holidays he's noticed the small smiles between Haru and Rin, those brief moments when their touches linger on each other's skin a bit longer than necessary and how their eyes sparkle when it's only two of them; how Haru's attitude changes when Rin's not around, especially now, when Rin's left again and they're old enough to understand just what exactly the hollow feeling inside means. But Makoto can only observe from the distance, not daring to intrude it, waiting until both of them realise themselves and do something about it. He looks at Haru, who is walking besides him, and a small beam tugs at his lips. It seems that Rin has finally made a move of some kind as the little blush doesn't disappear from Haru's face until they leave the school grounds.

-

"What if he misunderstood?" Haru mutters more to himself than to Makoto while they're going home. Makoto wants to ask what did Haru say to Rin and what does he mean, but he can't do it. He has to wait patiently until Haru opens up himself if he wants to, so Makoto simply shrugs, saying that Haru will just have to wait and see, "You're both adults now, you'll figure everything out," he offers a smile and Haru nods, though he doesn't look pleased. To take Haru's mind off of it, Makoto starts talking about his siblings and how they've said they miss Haru.

"You should come over," he smiles when they're almost home. "Everyone would be happy to have you around."

"I was planning to invite you today," Haru frowns slightly and stops as they've reached his house.

"I promised Ren and Ran to be back earlier today, sorry," Makoto scratches the back of his head, a guilty smile on his face. He casts a glance at Haru's house and his eyes widen a little bit before he settles with an expression of contempt on his face, "Besides, it seems you've got company."

"What do you-" Haru turns around and there's no way he wouldn't recognize those wine red hair.

"Say hi to him from me," Makoto laughs silently, but he knows his words haven't reached Haru's ears as the boy blinks a few times, not believing himself, and carefully takes a few steps before hurrying to Rin, who's sitting on the ground, back leaned against the wall and head lolled to the side as it looks like he's managed to doze off. Makoto sighs heavily and walks away, hoping that this time is going to be different even when they part.

He takes out his phone and sends a mail to Gou, saying that Rin's here. He feels like a gossiping schoolgirl, but he can't help himself as some kind of load gets off his shoulders and he just needs to share it, so that Gou would feel at least a bit relieved, too. Her reply is instant and Makoto smiles to himself as the message says _finally_.

-

"Haru?" Rin opens his eyes, blinking the sleepiness away as he feels the gentle touch on his face. He hasn't thought he was so tired to fell asleep after less than half an hour of waiting, but here he is, now staring at Haru's face in disbelief when the boy himself turns his head away and stands up. Rin stands up, too, and follows Haru inside, neither of them saying a word.

"Are we awake enough to talk now?" Rin finally snaps and Haru looks at him as if not understanding what is going on. But he's always been like this, so Rin steps closer, looking him right into the eyes, "We've been dancing around far too long," he puffs, and he sounds annoyed, even a bit angry, but his lips turn into a small smile when Haru lifts his eyes to look right at him. "And I think," his voice is more tender now and he says every word carefully as if afraid it might ruin everything, "it took me far too much time and far too many losses to realise it, but..." he's not sure how to continue, what to say, but it seems like Haru's eyes are seeing right through him, so he gives up on the words that have always made things more difficult. He takes a deep breath instead, repeating to himself that he has to trust Haru, and he leans over, placing his hands on Haru's shoulders and pressing their lips together.

It lasts for a second and suddenly Rin is pulling back, his face burning, but Haru's arms wrap around him, pulling him close again and he can feel how the dark haired boy's heart is beating as fast as his own when he puts his head on Rin's shoulder and silently whispers, "Welcome back."

Rin takes a deep breath before hesitantly murmuring, "I missed you." And then he laughs silently as it sounds so sappy. But he can feel how Haru nods his head and a hot breath tickles Rin's skin when he says, "Me too."

Rin's hands wander to Haru's hair and he hums silently when he can touch them himself, running his fingers through silky strands, inhaling the scent that smells like ocean itself. Haru tilts his head back, leaning into the touch, and Rin can't help himself but press his lips against Haru's exposed neck, slowly moving upwards until he reaches Haru's mouth and gets to taste it again. And he smiles during a kiss when he can feel the weak taste of chlorine on both of their lips now, but that's how it's always going to be, he realises. And he doesn't really mind.

-

"Up for a run?" Rin lifts his head from where he's sprawled on the floor while Haru's searching for a new recipe including mackerel. He puts everything away and stands up, looking at Rin with the smallest of smiles on his face, "Sounds good."

-

They end up in the water, swimming back and forth until both of them are out of breath. They're slowly moving to the shore, Haru a few meters ahead of Rin who's now floating on his back, letting the waves take care of him. He hears how the splashing from Haru's swimming stops, and soon he feels a palm being pressed on his back. He opens his eyes to find Haru smiling at him, his other hand grabbing Rin's wrist gently to hold him in place.

"You've changed," he lets out a puff, but he doesn't sound annoyed or angry; no, he sounds relieved and happy, and Rin mirrors the smile on his face.

"Guess I've started to feel the water," he snorts and Haru nods slightly.

"You have," he agrees, leaning over, "And finally you trust it," he smiles again and kisses Rin carefully, the feeling of it like water caressing his lips. Rin brings his arms to Haru's neck and his face gets underwater for a second, but then Haru's right there, helping him stand while breaking the kiss, his eyes narrowed slightly. Rin coughs a few times and smiles guiltily when Haru only shakes his head.

"Let's head back," he sighs, but his lips corners threaten to turn upwards.

-

"You're staying, right?" Haru asks silently when they're eating.

"Well, it's late already, so yeah, I'm staying," Rin furrows his eyebrows, finishing the meal and falling on his back, looking at the ceiling, "How do you even live eating only mackerel?"

"I mean _here_ ," Haru ignores his question, looking at Rin when he sits up again, his eyes moving to Haru.

"Can I?"

Haru nods and Rin smiles, "Oh, I love you so much," he laughs carelessly and only when he notices Haru blush he realises what he's just said, "I mean- You know, like-" he waves his hands in front, feeling how his cheeks turn red, and lowers his head, biting his lip.

"It's okay," Haru mutters and Rin hardly suppresses a chuckle. It's the most he's going to get from Haru, but that's fine.

"Thanks," he takes a deep breath, then stands up, taking the dishes to the kitchen, a smile appearing on his face when Haru hums under the nose in reply.

-

Haru doesn't offer to sleep together with him, so in the morning Rin wakes up as always, without anyone at his side. He grumbles silently to himself and goes to the bathroom while Haru's still asleep. When he's back, Haru's sitting in the bed, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning," Rin smiles when Haru mutters something similar in return, "Do you have practice before school?"

"In an hour, but I'm not going."

"What?" Rin knits his eyebrows and lets out a surprised laugh, "Haru, it's _pool_ we're talking about. Do you have a fever?" he comes closer, placing his hand on Haru's forehead.

"You're leaving." Rin shots Haru a confused glare and Haru sighs, taking Rin's arm and standing up, "I want to spend time with you. Pool can wait."

"You sure?" Rin blinks at Haru because the dark haired boy is choosing him instead of _water_ and _swimming_ , and his mind can't comprehend this thought yet. But Haru simply nods and Rin doesn't remember the last time his own smile was so wide.

-

"Bye," Haru embraces Rin just like the last time, but now Rin brings his arms around Haru, too.

"See you later," he smiles, hearing how Haru's heart is beating just a bit faster than usual. "Let's not ignore each other this time," he says when Haru pulls away to look at him.

"I'm sorry," Haru presses his lips tight, lowering his eyes as if still feeling guilty for the last time. "Have a safe trip."

"Don't be," Rin sighs, this little talk so painfully familiar as if it's carved in his head. But now he can make it different, he can change that memory with a new one, which will be followed by many others, which will be a start instead of the end; and Rin takes a deep breath, giving Haru a warm smile when he says, "I'll miss you."

And maybe Haru's thinking the same, Rin tells himself, when the boy's lips also turn into a smile and after a second of hesitation he pecks on Rin's lips and whispers contently, "Me too."

 

 


End file.
